One dude was almost fallen to ground from cliff. Another dude was holding him.

In films...

Dude1: Leave my hand dude, or we get killed both. :')
Dude2: No way! I can't leave you here alone! >:)

In real life...

Dude1: Goddamnit! F**K! Hold my damn hand! Or I kiss with death! D:<
Dude2: Goddamnit! Leave my hand you idiot! I'll dead too because of than you!!! DX

Teacher: If one of my student answers right to my questions, he or she can go to his or her house.

So, I threw my bag from window.

Teacher: Hey, who threw that bag from window?
Me: I threw and I go to my house.

Boy: Sir, can I go to the WC?
Teacher: NO YOU CAN'T! NOW SIT DOWN!
Girl: Sir, can I go to the WC?
Teacher: Yes cute girl, you can.
Boy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!

Doctor: If I'll cut your ear, what happens?
Crazy: Of course I had pain then.
Doctor: If I'll cut your two ears, what happens?
Crazy: I can't see then.
Doctor: Wh-what? Why?
Crazy: Yo stupid! I'm using a glasses right?

Dad: Welcome.
Boy: Thanks. She is my girlfriend dad.
Dad: Oh yeah?
Boy: Yes, she is.
Girl: We get to go sir. For study. To my boyfriends room.
Dad: Okay, good luck.

1 hour later, dad hears noise like that Ohh Baby Baby Baby.

Dad: What the f**k? What the hells going on here!

Dad opens the door and...

Dad: Oh sorry, you are just having sex, I just thought you are listening Justin Bieber. C'mon go ahead.
Boy: Lol.
Girl: Lets continue to this darling.

In park...
Dude: Aww what a cute dog, whats her name?
Girl: Ehehehe, thanks, her name was Pufy.
Dude: Awww she was talking too!
Girl: ...

Boyfriend: If you die in your dream or nightmare, you'll wake up in real life.
Girlfriend: Yes, you right.
Boyfriend: What happens if you die in real life?
Girlfriend: What happens?
Boyfriend: Then you are really died you idiot! Thats why it name was real.

One girl, decide to buy a parrot. That girl went to the petshop.
Girl: Hello sir! I want a parrot.
Shopman: Unhh. We got one parrot. But that parrot says about bad words. I don't think you gonna buy it.
Girl: Whatever! I want that parrot anyway!
Shopman: Okay...

Girl bought that parrot and they went to girls house. She left that parrot in her house. And she come back...

Parrot: Welcome bitch!

Girl annoyed that word and she decided to sell this parrot to Shopman.

Girl: You're right. I'm selling this parrot.

But Shopman needs money.

Shopman: Look, I can make train that parrot.
Girl: *sigh* Okay.
Shopman: Yo! Tell me! What are you gonna say when that girl came to selfs house?
Parrot: Welcome bitch!

Shopman was boiled water and inserted that parrots head.

Shopman: Wrong! What are you gonna say?
Parrot: Of course I'll say: Welcome bitch!

Shopman did insert that parrots head to boiled water.
This is repeated for 5 more times.

Parrot: Okay okay! I'll say Welcome Miss!

Shopman become to happy.

Girl: Now tell me! What are you gonna say when I came to my house?
Parrot: I'll say Welcome Miss!

Girl couldn't believe to Parrot was educated good! But she tried to ask more questions.

Girl: Wow! Now, what are you gonna say when I came to my house with my best friend?
Parrot: I'll say Welcome Misses!
Girl: Nice one. What are you gonna say when I came to my house with my boyfriend?
Parrot: I'll say Welcome Loving Doves!
Girl: I liked it! What are you gonna say when I came to my house with my two or three boyfriends?
Parrot: SHOPMANNN!!! BOIL THAT WATER! THIS GIRL IS REALLY BITCH!!!

In the village, the TV Programmers came to that village for a peoples story. Anyway, they found old man.

TV Programmer: Hey old men! Wanna tell yourselfs happy story to us?
Old Man: Yes I want.
TV Programmer: Hmm okay... ACTION!
Old Man: One day, my best friend lost his donkey. At least, we found his donkey on mountains. And, we f**ked that donkey for fun and-
TV Programmer: W-WH-WHOA WHOA! CUT! Old man, this is the worst happy story ever I heard it! Tell us another happy story. ACTION!
Old Man: *sigh* Ok. One day, my another best friends wife was lost. Finally we found his wife on mountains. And, we f**ked my another best friends wife for-
TV Programmer: CUT! CUT! CUT! DAMNIT! Old man! I'll give up! Don't tell happy stories. Now, tell sad stories. ACTION!
Old Man: Alright. One day, I was went to mountains. And I lost!

Teacher: Alright kids! If you didn't get it, I can explain it again!
Boy: I didn't get it. Can you explain it again?
Teacher: You should have listened!
Boy: I'm gonna f**k your mother. Son of a bitch!
Teacher: What did you say?
Boy: You should have listened!