Hello dude! How are you? Look, if you love me, please, go down.

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Please ya! Go down!
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Now you pissing off, but listen me please. Go down if you love your God.
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Will you go down sir?

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Please, don't break my heart! Go.

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I'll throw grenade to your house! GO DOWN!!!!

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Go, GO GOO!

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Go.

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Don't piss off please. Go down ya!

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Almost done. Go.

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Almost done.

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Okay. Thats it. I'm gonna tell this: Now go back. xD

There are two soldiers. Soldier2 was guarding Quarter. Soldier1 was guarding forest. He is guarding forest but snake was drop his body to Soldier1. Snake bit his penis and snake got away. Soldier1 shouting and crying.

Soldier1: Gaaahh!! My penis! Whyyy! Waaaahhhhaaaahhhhhaaahhhh!!!!

In radio talk...

Soldier1: Braawwwrrr! Dude! My penis was biten by snake. Help me!

Soldier2 left quarter and running to Soldier1.

Soldier2: Dude! What happened to you?
Soldier1: Don't ask. My penis was biten by snake. Duuuudeee!! Please do something. I'm dying!
Soldier2: Okay okay! I'm gonna report your situation to commander! C'mon! Try to alive, don't die!
Soldier1: Gaahh! Report my situation now! I can't handle on this!

In radio talk...

Soldier2: Sir! My friends penis biten by snake! What we gonna do? Please be quick! He is dying!
Commander! CALM DOWN SOLDIER! I think he poisoned. If you don't want his death, suck his biten side and spit out to somewhere. Repeat this ten or twelve times. If you gonna do this, he don't die.

After...

Soldier1: Unhhh!!! Dude! What did commander say?
Soldier2: You gonna die my brother.

One nice day, father and son was planned what they gonna do today. They went to forest. And they set their tent. Night arrived and they sleeping. Midnight, father woke up and trying to wake up his son...

Dad: Son, son! Wake up!
Boy: Unhh... What happened daddy?
Dad: Look at sky, what do you see?
Boy: Uhh... I see stars. I don't see besides stars.

Father punchs to his son...

Boy: DADDY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Dad: You stupid! Why you saw stars?
Boy: I dunno.
Dad: Because someone stole our tent!

Girl: I have heart operation today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you.
Boy: Me too.

After heart operation...

Girl: Daddy? Where he is?
Dad: What? Don't you know who gave you heart?
Girl: Dad? Or he is... :'(
Dad: Hahaha! Just kidding, he is in bathroom. He'll come now. :D

In winter season...

Dude1: Hey dude! Wanna play snowball?
Dude2: What! No way! In this cold weather?
Dude1: Yes, you right. Let's play snowball in summer season.

In school...

Student1: Hey! School is burning!
Student2: Wha- Shhhhiiiiiiiiittt!!! WHAT WE GONNA DO NOW!
Student1: Don't ask me that much. Just bring more woods.

There are two best friends. They are walking to restaurant. They wanna eat fish. When they arrived, waiter was here but there are bad news... There is just one big fish. Best friends fighting...

Dude1: HEY! I WANNA EAT BIG FISHS BODY! YOU GONNA EAT BIG FISHS HEAD!
Dude2: NO! YOU GONNA EAT FISHS HEAD!
Dude1: If you eat big fishs head, you'll become to clever instantly.
Dude2: Oh, really?
Dude1: Sure. I'm not lying about this subject.
Dude2: Deal!

Dude2 ate big fishs head and Dude1 ate big fishs body.

Dude1: I'm saturated.
Dude2: But dude, you ate fishs body, you saturated. I ate fishs head, I'm still hungry.
Dude1: Like I said, you became to clever.

Wake up at 03:05. Close all lights. So, turn light off. Just take few candles and light them. Go to mirror and look at that mirror. Wait few seconds and shout like 'BLOODY MARY' for 3 times. Who will come up? Devil? Reaper? Genie? Of course your father come up for beat you. Are you stupid enough for shout at night?

Gay: Hey Thief! Teach me how thief works.
Thief: Okay, I can teach you it if you teach me how gay works.
Gay: DEAL!
Thief: Now watch!

Thief near of one guy. He stole his monies.

Thief: Did you see this? Thief steals monies. Now your next.
Gay: Okay.

Gay near of that same guy. He says...

Gay: Hey dude! That thief stole your monies!

Girl: I don't know how I can tell it to you.
Boy: Why you don't know?
Girl: Because I'm shy.
Boy: Okay don't be shy. Tell me what you gonna tell me.
Girl: Okay, I'm telling.
Boy: Go ahead.
Girl: You stole my lovely heart okay? I have only an heart, but you stole it.
Boy: B-but I'm not thief for steal your heart. Look at me, I'm in my house since one week. I didn't go outside.
Girl: God damn you.