Mom: How did you get the exam?
Boy: E damnit!
Mom: Why you won't study your lessons huh? My ass f**ked up while I say always STUDY YOUR LESSONS!
Boy: But mummy, everybody get D, E or F-
Mom: NO BODY INTERESTING ME!!!
Boy: :'(
Mom: Look at neighboring's sons, they always working and studying. What happens to you in end?
Boy: Look at me old woman! You said no body interesting me!

Country1 and Country2 had a fight. But this fight isn't over. It was continuing days, weeks and months. One day, in Country1 was a plan...

Country1 Commander: Thats it! I wanna fight and win! Lets say Country2 Soldier, and maybe he is get up and we make him down. Alright... 3, 2, 1...
Country1: COUNTRY2 SOLDIER!
Country2 Soldier1: What?

Country1 soldiers killed him.

Country1 Commander: Great one. Now try again... 3, 2, 1...
Country1: COUNTRY2 SOLDIER!
Country2 Soldier2: What happened?

Country1 soldiers killed him too.

Country2 Commander: Thats it! They are calling us and we're get up and they killing us. This time we gonna do what they do.
Country2: COUNTRY1 SOLDIER!

No sounds.

Country2: COUNTRY1 SOLDIER!

No sounds again.

Country2: COUNTRY1 SOLDIERS WHERE ARE YOU YA?
Country1 Soldier: *didn't get up* Who said this?
Country2: *they all get up* WE SAID THIS!!!

And Country1 Soldiers killed them all.

Student1: Hey! Give me your sharpener now!
Student2: Yo idiot! Did you ask got sharpener?
Student1: Got sharpener?
Student2: NO!

One guy saw one crowd group.

Guy: Bitch....

And everybody looks to that guy...

Guy: Wow, how many bitches. They looking at me...

Dude1 was walking in street. And he crushed to candle, genie was get rid of from candle.

Genie: Wish whatever if you want from me.
Dude1: I don't want wish anything. Get back.
Genie: Really? I was thought you wanna wish something.
Dude1: Really, get back! Do you wanna eat my fist?
Genie: Okay okay, I'll give you 6 eggs. If you want wish something, break one egg.
Dude1: Alright alright. Give them...

Genie was went to that candle back when he gave 6 eggs to Dude1.

Dude1: Hmm... Lets test these eggs. *breaks one egg* I wanna be rich!

Now, he is rich...

Dude1: Wow, it works! 5 eggs remaining... I wanna one castle!

Now, he has a castle!

Dude1: I can't believe it! It works!!!! Now I wanna become to king and I wanna more my own soldiers!

Now, he is king and he owns the soldiers!...

Dude1: Hmm... Thats enough... Hey SOLDIERS! Call that guy to me!
Soldiers: YES SIR!
Dude2: Heeyy! My old and good friend! How are you doing ya?
Dude1: Not much... I was crush to candle and a genie was get rid of from candle and he gave me 6 eggs. I break 3 eggs.
1- I wanted to become to rich. And I'm rich!
2- I wanted one castle. And I have one castle!
3- I wanted become to king and I wanted my own soldiers. Now I'm king and I have my own soldiers!
Dude2: Wow...
Dude1: I wanted the break these 3 unbroken eggs. But now you are here, I'm gonna give these 3 eggs. Have fun ya!
Dude2: YAY! THANKS OLD MATE!

2 years later...

Dude1: SOLDIERS! Call that guy to me!
Soldiers: GOTCHA SIR!
Dude1: Hey dude! How are you? What happened in 3 eggs?
Dude2: Don't ask. I was walking on street but I fell to the ground mistakely, one egg was broken.
1- My house filled with dicks.
2- Get out these dicks from my house! So, my one was gone too.
3- Give my dick.

My harddisk isn't gone first time!!! It means I can make Madness Fighter series! YAY!

Boy: (*sigh* Now I'm gonna ask to my mom whats for dinner and she says again I have leek) Whats for dinner mom?
Mom: Chips, pizza, hamburger, fried chicken, steak, for drink I have coke and fanta-
Boy: MOM! ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Mom: Of course not :D I have leek.
Boy: :'(

Turbo Man...

In primary school:

Teacher: I'M GONNA CALL YOUR MOTHER!
Boy: Aww please sir, don't do it. It won't happen again! So sorry...

In secondary school:

Teacher: I'M GONNA CALL YOUR MOTHER!
Boy: F**K! Whatever...

In high school:

Teacher: I'M GONNA CALL YOUR MOTHER!
Boy: SAY HELLO TO MY MOM! LEARN WHATS FOR DINNER IF YOU WANT!

Dad: Hey son! Come here!
Boy: Y-Yes dad?
Dad: Take this flash drive. This flash drive contains your future life and your girlfriends.
Boy: Uhh okay... Lets insert this flash drive to my computer...

Several minutes later...

Boy: DAD! THIS FLASH DRIVE IS EMPTY!
Dad: I know it.
Boy: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-